Moving In Together: A 5 Step Guide

For many of us, getting married and moving in together is the first time you’re intimately living with someone outside of family and friends. It’s important to note: not all living situations are created equally. Living with your spouse is VERY different than living with your parents or having a roommate. There will be an inevitably bumpy transition. Here are a few things you should expect and try to prepare for.


1.) Your life is about to change drastically.

You have to understand that many things about your previous bachelor/bachelorette life will change, beyond just a shared space. You will be exposed to each other's habits, for better or for worse. The pre-marital bliss you lived in will definitely get shaken up and certain habits will annoy you.


2.) Total privacy is a thing of the past.

You will be around each other A LOT. Say goodbye to your private quarters, and prepare yourself for the fact that the only privacy you're likely to have will be in the bathroom (if even that). If you can, try to dedicate a certain space for yourself.


3.) Ask for alone time when you need it.

Knowing when you need to be alone and making sure to take that time for yourself is crucial. There will be times when you need space, and that is very normal. Sometimes you will want to be around your partner all the time, and sometimes you will need to recharge on your own. Go to the movies, take a walk, go to the gym. Do what you need to do so that you can come back home refreshed and ready to engage with your spouse. Don’t feel bad about this.


4.) You will probably fight more often.

When you live together, it’s very easy to stumble into a fight or argument. A seemingly harmless comment may strike a chord with your spouse, and as you get closer to one another and spend more time together, you will realize you have differences. In the honeymoon phase we often wear rose tinted glasses and may overlook our differences -- but we all have them. Living together will make them more apparent, but don’t let that scare you into thinking you aren’t right for each other. You are two different people, of course you have your differences. Some may not matter, and some may bother you. Embrace them, fight it out if you have to, but commit to moving forward.


5.) There is a secret to sharing a bed comfortably.

Spare yourself the trouble, and invest in a king bed if you can. No matter how small you are, this will lead to a better nights sleep. You will likely have different bed pressure, room temperature, and sleep preferences. The most important tip I can give you is to use two blankets. That way, when one of you kicks their blanket off at night, the other can still be snuggled under their own and sleep undisturbed. You’re welcome.


Hoda Abrahim